Talking Women’s Business

So often as women, we leave our womb, sexuality, menstrual cycle out of conversations. For many reasons, but deeply, because we have been told not to talk about it, or we haven’t had a proper introduction and discussions about it with our mothers. Also, often if we have had a conversation about it, we have been taught, and come to believe that our cycle is a burden that we have to deal with (unfairly compared to the opposite gender) every month. The cycle has often been made fun of or named as something shameful to hide every month. Overall, the menstrual cycle has been demeaned… for centuries, and if something so intrinsic to Women has been demeaned, really Womenkind and its divine power has been demeaned… and thought to be inferior than the other sex.

Women are rising, and it is time to embrace our cycle proudly, to talk about it, to connect with its intelligence at a deeper level. It is time to change the narrative around the menstrual cycle and therefore change the narrative for Womenkind overall.

The cycle is such a beautiful, powerful tool that we are lucky to have as women as it connects us deeply to our changing needs to guide us throughout our days, weeks, months. The cycle is what divinely enables us to create life!!! I am just so much in awe with that. It blows my mind that the women body can create an entire other magnificent human being…

I was raised, like a lot of us, believing that my cycle was a burden. I had wanted from an early age to do everything boys and men could do, without limits, because I did not find it fair that girls and women were believed not to be capable of doing and not allowed to do things men were allowed to. But in many ways, I found my feminine parts were a hindrance. I grew to value mainly the intellectual, the “doing” and “achieving” part of being a human, and rejected the more emotional, slower, creative, more intuitive parts of myself or others. I became an engineer, worked in research and development, in companies and environments that were very masculine. I was often the only woman in a room full of men. And I was proud of it, I enjoyed it for a while. The creative, artistic, slower, reflective parts of myself were still present in me, but somehow dormant, I was enjoying those really as a side gig, playing music, going to art show, but definitely not to be taken too seriously. I was sensitive and emotional but was rejecting, resisting this yin, feminine, beautiful part of myself. I never thought of integrating both my masculine and feminine sides. And I never connected to my cycle as something worth connecting with.

It took me years, a couple Yoga Teacher trainings in different styles of yoga (including slower, restorative Yin styles), learning about the feminine and masculine parts of ourselves (that both women and male have and that both genders ought to integrate to be fully in our power), a few Neuro-Linguistic programming trainings, also meeting amazing divinely feminine and smart women and men in their full integrated power, a Goddess workshop and reading a few amazing books to start connecting with and deeply listening to my cycle. I learned to recognize and ENJOY every part of the cycle as I started to change my body and life rhythms throughout the month:

• The winter (or the bleed), where I find myself retrieving, needing to slow down, to cocoon, to give my body the rest it deserves, and to release stuck energy and patterns. During the winter, I found myself being more aware and connected to my needs, desires, and to my higher self. I have greater clarity of what I needed to do for the rest of the month, clarity on my life path, my intuition is enliven. It is beautiful and sometimes even ecstatic! But only if I take the time to slow down and listen. Meditations are the deepest during that time.
• In spring (or pre-ovulation), after a few days of rest, I found myself full of energy to start working on the creative ideas I had, that reflects and are in resonance with my inner self, I am so energized to get things done. Again, resisting this urge, feels very dissatisfying and therefore I find myself struggling if my cycle is not listened to, especially at that time.
• During summer (or ovulation), I find myself longing for movement, fun, connections with the outside world, connection with my husband, connections with my kids, I found myself to be the most patient parent in this season of the cycle. Again, by listening to that need, my whole body and soul feel satisfied. Less resistance, fewer struggles. I feel full of energy, I feel beautiful, I feel an expansion of my energy, ready to give to the world.
• In Autumn (pre-cycle), I need to slow down, to finish the projects I started, to start retrieving in my cocoon. If this slow down does not happen, I found myself getting very frustrated and angry. With deep listening to my body, that is getting a bit tired at that stage, I get ready, get excited for the start of my new cycle, where I will allow myself to rest, where I will find a new wave of inspiration!

I have created a life where I am able, to a large extent, to schedule my month according to the rhythms of my feminine body, I finish my cycles feeling connected to myself, vital and inspired!

I have 2 kids, my own yoga and coaching business and consulting work I do in the Healthcare industry. So, my schedule is busy!!! Here are a few things I do to work around all that:

• Every day, I listen to my body and to its needs by taking a break. I wake up and bring awareness to how my body is feeling, bring gratitude for all the things I have. And I continue listening to my body throughout the day, taking a few moments to breath and listen to what it needs and what wisdom it has to offer!
• During the winter, I do not schedule big travel or long workshops, or presentations.
• If I can’t get out of a busy week during a wintertime, I still take things slower (e.g.: create slower sequence in yoga classes or don’t demonstrate as much, I don’t schedule as many meetings…) and I discipline myself to sit and meditate even when things feel too busy
• I now use the menstrual cup instead of pads and tampons, and this has very much improved my relationship with my cycle, relationship with the bleed… It is also better for the environment!
• I schedule a lot of self-care moments throughout the cycle especially pre and during cycle (some can be as simple as taking 15 minutes to put my bare feet in the grass in my garden and lay in the sun, or it could be a walk in nature, or a massage, acupuncture, a run, hugging a tree, massaging my head and shoulder, taking a bath with Epsom salt and lavender oil, watching a movie…)
• I listen to my social needs in summer and this is where I meet more people, friends, plan talks, workshops…
• My husband is very aware and supportive of me listening to my divine  womanly body and therefore is supporting me in those moments I need to rest or those moments I feel very creative and introspective and takes care of the kids. He is also game for the summertime, the connection that comes with it and the cuddles. You need an incredible supportive partner (at least it is easier) to make it work if you have kids and no family around  — but again which partner would not want a happy, creative, intuitive, connected, divine, sensual woman to spend their life with. So, listening to your cycle is a WIN WIN for your relationship!

I will end with this. Wouldn’t it be AMAZING to see the next generation of women connected to their divine feminine consciousness, to their beautifully feminine and masculine power — fully integrated? To teach our girls our women cycle is powerful, it is a gift to cherish, to listen to as it gives us the divine power of wisdom, intuition, connection, creation of life!!, creation in general, vitality and self-love? Wouldn’t it be so fantastic to help them enter the realm of Womankind, feeling it is a divine world to belong to?? Wouldn’t it be blissful that the next generations of men respect and value the cycle as it deserves to be respected, and with that give the wholesome respect Women deserve? I certainly raise my 2 boys with this in mind.

With infinite love and gratitude!

A little homework for all of you divine goddesses reading this blog, and that haven’t done this before:

For the next 2 to 3 months (or more!), create a cycle awareness journal bringing deep awareness to your cycle not only in terms of mood and energy level through the cycle, but bringing awareness to your creative, intuitive, sensual energies, your connection to your inner self, the need for connection to others, the way you are able to express yourself… and anything else you can notice at a deep spiritual level. Do this for the different seasons throughout the cycle but also the in-between, the transitions. If you are in the divine stage of peri-menopause or menopause, you can still journal and connect to your inner femininity during the month.

Answer these questions:

- What have you been told about your cycle when you were young?

- What do you remember of your first cycle and how it was introduce to you?

-How do you think it influenced your view on women in general?

-If you are in the divine stage of menopause, how did you navigate the transition?

- What is your relationship with your cycle today?

- What can you share from your journaling experience?

- Did it change your relationship with your cycle? With your womenkind?

- How would you schedule your month in an ideal way if you could listen to your cycle?

Here is a meditation I created to awaken your divine feminine power!

Activate your divine feminine with DottYoga

And a flowing yoga practice to enliven that creative center:

45 min Water Practice with DottYoga

With infinite love and gratitude

Dorothee

Women Transformation Coach

www.fearlesslyyourself.com